Obligatory Fuck You Post

Actual Photo of The United States of America
Actual Photo of The United States of America

Note: I took some time to think before I wrote anything about the US election. I have decided that the best response to the whole thing is this list, which is really the only response that I have. 

The List of Obligatory Fuck Yous:


This list is in no particular order. Fuck you all equally, and with the burning passion of a thousand suns. 

1. Fuck you to the DNC.

The Democratic National Committee worked very hard to stop Bernie Sanders from getting the nomination. This is was a really bad decision, and I said so months and months ago. I said that Hillary Clinton would lose. Not because she is a woman, but because she didn’t do anything liberal during all her chances in politics up until the election.

Bernie Sanders had the support of white people. That matters because poling places were closed in minority areas, and minority voters were removed from voter registration roles. We are always facing voter suppression, and we don’t often get to have our say. Even when we do, there are simply MORE white people. They make up more than half of the population. So, you need someone that they will vote for. They were gaga for Bernie Sanders. They did not like Hillary Clinton.

So the DNC lost the election back in July when they nominated Hillary Clinton, and then just like I expected, white people elected Donald Trump.

These people knew Trump was a racist, and they voted for him anyway.
These people knew Trump was a racist, and yet…

2. Fuck You To Third Party Haters.

The first thing Democrats did on election night when Trump was ahead was to say “It’s because of Jill Stein!” Y’all motherfuckers need to go fuck yourselves with a fucking pineapple for that shit, and I am not playing around. Here’s the math of Third Party Voters, for the terminally stupid:

Gary Johnson was the crazy conservative choice. He asked for things like eliminating income tax all together, because he was bat shit crazy and stupid. All Libertarians are. I have said before that Libertarians are batshit crazy and stupid, and I am never backing down from that no matter how much they cry about it. In spite of Gary Johnson being the choice of the most mentally challenged people, he still pulled a lot of votes away from Trump. Evangelicals who couldn’t stomach Trump’s many wives, and conservatives to the right of Trump voted Gary Johnson.

Gary Johnson took 3% of the total votes.

Now Jill Stein was the only actually progressive candidate. She wanted universal healthcare, higher taxes on the wealthy, and to enforce existing taxes on corporations. If you were to the left of Hillary Clinton, you voted for Jill Stein.

Jill Stein took 1% of the total votes.

Now this is where it gets really hard for some people so I am going to spell it out really slowly. Are you wantching? Good. Here goes:

3 – 1 = 2.

Was that too fast for you? Maybe read it again a few times until it sinks in. 3% voted for Gary Johnson but would have voted Trump if they had to choose one of the two. They “took votes away” from Trump. 1% voted for Jill Stein.

So if you can just follow along here, that is a net gain of 2% for Hillary Clinton overall. Third Party voters actually helped Hillary Clinton, and she saw a net gain of 2% in the polls because of Third Party voters.

So no. She did not cost Hillary Clinton the election, you butt-hurt pieces of shit.

I Do What I Want
I Do What I Want

3. Fuck You to Anyone Against Protests.

So, the First Amendment to the United States Constitution gives people the right to peaceably assemble and petition the government for redress of grievances. In other words, to protest. This has been a very important right since the Boston Tea Party back in 1773.

(Note: It wasn’t even a “right” then, but it led to the Revolutionary War and to white Americans on the east coast having the right to self-govern without British involvement, wherein they founded the United States of America.)

Protesting is an important right. Even when it involves property destruction (as in the case of the Boston Tea Party) it is still something that should be protected. I find it terribly sad and pathetic that a few conservatives are so “triggered” by the thought of people expressing their right to free assembly that they need to lose their shit all over the place and cry like little babies about it.

“Wahhh, a protester burned a flag.”

“Wahhh, some people blocked a freeway.”

Yeah? Fuck you! Quit your fucking crying and suck it up, cupcake. This is how a Democracy works, and if you can’t be a grown up and deal with people expressing their rights, then you need to get the fuck out of the United States and find yourself a nice dictatorship like Iran where you will be safe from anyone’s opinion but that of the state; which is what you so obviously want.

People have a right to protest. They have a right to burn flags. They may not have a right to destroy property, but only one group did that in Portland, and that was a group of anarchists who admitted when they were arrested that they were NOT with the anti-Trump protesters. And just so you know, the anti-Trump protesters raised money to pay for all the damage that the anarchists did, but you won’t hear THAT on your bullshit media, will you?

I would also like to point out that when Obama won, no one was holding peaceful signs like they are now, with slogans like “Love Trumps Hate” and “I support Marginalized Communities.”

Oh, no.

When Obama was elected, Conservatives were literally burning effigies of him. Literally.

Republicans Are Basically A Hate Group
Republicans Are A Hate Group

5. Fuck You to the KKK.

Seriously, I don’t know why the KKK is not on the terror watch list. How are these people allowed to do anything at all? Why do we let them stay in the country? Why are they not in jail? If you are going to call a Muslim who stands up for themselves a terrorist, then these fuckers are terrorists times a thousand. Why is it “free speech” for a white person to be racist but terrorism if a minority simply defends their right to exist? How did we get HERE?

David Duke of the KKK endorsed Trump, and the KKK held rallies for him. Now, they are holding a victory parade to celebrate the fact that Donald Trump has won, and plans to “Make America White Again.”

As a Blackfoot, I want to assure you on behalf of my tribe and all Native Americans: America did not used to be white. Stop trying to claim that Native Americans were not here before you, and that Mexicans were not here before you. White people turned up with their smallpox blankets and claims of manifest destiny, and there were already people on the land. So don’t pretend that it is a Christian Nation, or that is was always white.

I am milk chocolate in color, and I worship the Great Spirit and Mother Earth. And my people were here first.



6. Fuck you to The Media.

I am sick to death of the lies. You read a liberal cite and they are talking about how Trump is going to deport all the Muslims. You read a conservative cite and they are talking about how protesting should be illegal.

It’s all scare tactics.

There is no more news.

Journalism in the USA is completely fucking dead, and has been replaced by something that doesn’t even resemble a vehicle for delivering facts. It’s some kind of clunky propaganda machine with no point or purpose except to scream ineffectually about nothing.

Read things that don’t have a “.com” URL. Read the CBC and the BBC and news stations who are required by the laws of their countries to tell the truth. But don’t read the US news any more. There is nothing factual on there, and it’s become a worthless circus of bullshit.



7. Fuck Your Safety Pins.

This one goes out to a special kind of liberal. They are white. Most of them supported Hillary Clinton. They really do mean well, but they are also completely self-centered and unable to grasp the idea that not everyone is having the same experience as them. They are currently wearing safety pins on their shirts to let minorities and members of marginalized communities “know that they are an ally.”

Okay, I want you to think this through.

Pretend you are a Native American. You think it’s bullshit that white people elected Donald Trump, and you’re upset about the rise in hate crimes. Then you see some folks with baseball bats and they don’t look very nice. They think you are Hispanic because of your brown skin (white people don’t know what a Native American looks like) so they yell:

“Looks like a bad day for you, Spic! You didn’t go home so now you’re going to get a beat down. You’re not welcome here.”

As this scene unfolds I am obviously scared. This is reality now. Racists, emboldened by the win of one of their own, are actually attacking people of color. As a person of color, I am in serious danger just because I exist.

Now these safety pin folks think that what should do is run away, and quickly find a white person with a safety pin and beg them to defend me. I need to ask them to be my brave hero and savior, because I am too weak and helpless to handle the world now without those special folks wearing safety pins!


I need you to realize that when you wear a safety pin, you are flaunting your privilege. You are telling me that you know that you have more rights than me, and rather than stand up for my rights, you want to make yourself feel better about it by “offering to help” in the most passive and useless way possible.

All this does is make you feel good about yourself.

Meanwhile, it makes me feel a lot worse.

Now I know that you know that the KKK is out to get me, but you’re not going to stop them. You’re just going to wear a safety pin to let me know that when the KKK kills me, you will have disapproved from afar. Because you see, you think that as long as you are not actively hurting me, I should kiss your fucking ass for that.

I will not.

You don’t get a cookie for NOT being a racist. It doesn’t make you special. You still suck for being white and taking advantage of a system rigged in your favor. You still suck for letting your racist aunt or grandma or brother vote for Donald Trump. We know you know white people who voted for him, because you mostly keep to your own race, and most of your own race voted for him. So we know you personally know a person who voted for Trump, and you didn’t stop them. You still talk to them. You passively accept racism and wear a safety pin, which is literally the least you can do.

Fuck you.

Fuck Your Safety Pin.
Fuck Your Safety Pin.


8. Fuck Giving Trump A Chance.

I am really fucking sick of people telling me to “give Trump a chance.”

Donald Trump is a billionaire who inherited all his money from his mommy and daddy, and he has never had a real job before. He is a lazy, useless, spoiled piece of shit. Rich white people like him are literally destroying anything that was ever successful about the United States because all they care about is profit.

Trump was also raised by Nazi sympathizers and has always expressed a disrespect for women and a distaste for minorities. His history is one of outright racism, and sexism.

People say “You don’t know what Trump is going to do.”

And they say that because THEY don’t know what Trump is going to do.

I am not in that camp. I know exactly what he is going to do.

1. Make sure that all government contracts go to his family and friends from now on.

2. Cut taxes on the 1% and make sure to include lots of loopholes for business and the rich to avoid taxes.

3. Remove as many worker’s rights as possible so that his businesses will be less likely to be sued when they mistreat employees.

4. Make is easier for companies to hire “guest workers” from overseas instead of having to pay living wages for American workers.

5. Piss off every single country we trade with and completely tank the economy because the guy is a fucking idiot who doesn’t understand trade at all.

There’s probably a lot more fuck ups coming besides just those. But I promise you that those are the highest priorities on his list. He wanted to be President to satisfy his narcissism and his greediness, but he will absolutely use this opportunity to gain advantages for the 1% and fuck everyone else in the process.

This is what rich white men do, and they have been doing here since 1492.

So fuck giving Trump a chance.

Fucking White People.
Fucking White People.

9. Fuck Trying to Help.

I wrote this blog to help inform people. I wrote my book, Angry Rants for Average Americans, to help inform people. I campaigned and helped people register to vote and tried to warn Clinton supporters that they were electing Trump by supporting her.

I warned you all that the people were hungry, and they were poor, and with income inequality and low wages and no healthcare, folks were fucking desperate.

And no one listened.

So I am out for a while. I am tired of taking time out of my day to try to contribute to the discussion. I have a fabulous job at Kyung Hee University in South Korea. I have a fabulous girlfriend who I plan to propose to. I have a fabulous apartment across the street from this beautiful hiking trail with a view of the park. I make plenty of money, and I am comfortable.

I should be spending my time planning vacations to Europe and other countries in Asia. It’s been ages since I was in Europe and my last trip to Japan was just too short. I should be going to the ice festivals here and enjoying the Korean version of “Christmas” and having a good time with people I care about playing D&D and drinking beers at the pub.

There is no reason for me to waste time on political activism or give a shit about my home country if this is how my home country is going to act. “Liberals” trying to blame everyone but themselves for Hillary Clinton’s expected and predicted loss, and “Conservatives” spreading hate and racism around all over the world. It’s just unacceptable.

So, to use my favorite Half Baked quote:

“Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you I’m out.”

To the one or two cool people, thanks for not being shitsacks, but I am just done with Americans right now and I am seriously considering applying for permanent residency status where I am at this point, so… bye.


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